


beware of hitchhiking ghosts

by honey_butter



Category: Wooden Overcoats (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Disney World, M/M, chapman does a shitty thing sorry, chapman is a guide, georgie is a maintenance worker, im really in love with this au and got a bit carried away with it, lady templar is the antagonist, madeleine is an actual person who plays minnie mouse, rudyard funn is asexual, the funns work at the haunted mansion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:08:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23568094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honey_butter/pseuds/honey_butter
Summary: “When does our shift end?”“We’re closing the park today, Rudyard, so stop complaining.”Rudyard threw his head back in melodramatic agony, “What could possibly be worse than—”“Hello, Rudyard, Antigone.”“Kill me.” Rudyard muttered before dropping his head to face the blinding smile of Eric Chapman.Or, a wooden overcoats Disney World au that I probably put way too much thought into.
Relationships: Eric Chapman/Rudyard Funn, Georgie Crusoe/Jennifer Delacroix (mentioned)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 68





	beware of hitchhiking ghosts

**Author's Note:**

> so, i've been thinking a lot about wooden overcoats and I've been thinking a lot about disney world. i go the idea for this au while waiting in line at the haunted mansion and have been writing it sporadically since. a big shout out to my friends who have had to listen to me talk about this since february. 
> 
> disclaimer: i've never worked at disney and don't know anyone who currently does so this is probably highly inaccurate, indulge me. also, i've never had a guide so there are a lot of fictional liberties taken in here.
> 
> also i apologize if they're a little out of character, sometimes the rudyard does not go.

Rudyard Funn was sick and tired of dealing with people. All of the harried parents, ankle-swiping scooter drivers, and screaming children that frequented the Magic Kingdom’s Haunted Mansion were beginning to grate on his very sensitive nerves. 

“Remind me again why we decided to work here?” He bit out to his sister, Antigone, from their posts at the end of the queue for the ride.

Today was a particularly brutal wait, eighty-five minutes, and the attitude of the park visitors was clearly reflecting it. So far in his three hours working, Rudyard had been yelled at by five red-faced women complaining about missing a reservation, run into by multiple distracted teenagers playing that cursed app someone more important than Rudyard ever hoped to be had designed, and ignored entirely by at least a hundred people.

“Because we had to sell Dad’s mortuary and, I quote you, ‘this was the best we could do instead.’” Antigone hissed, her head drooping under the weight of the headband all of the female cast members were required to wear.

“Ah, well, I suppose.” Rudyard turned from his sister to wince at the three babies who appeared to be having a screaming match in the waiting area for the Stretching Room.

“If the person in front of you is not moving, assume they are dead and fill all available space,” Antigone croaked, a few children shaking with fear just from her voice.

“When does our shift end?”

“We’re closing the park today, Rudyard, so stop complaining.”

Rudyard threw his head back in melodramatic agony, “What could possibly be worse than—”

“Hello, Rudyard, Antigone.”

“Kill me.” Rudyard muttered before dropping his head to face the blinding smile of Eric Chapman.

Chapman had been a guide at Disney for only two months, but in that time Rudyard had developed a deep and all consuming loathing for the man. His job alone disgusted Rudyard: people paid hundreds of dollars an hour to be able to cut lines and snag reservations that others just barely scraping enough together to get to the parks could only dream of. And then there was Chapman’s stupid smile and his stupid hair and his stupid cheery attitude that combined to infuriate Rudyard whenever he had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting him.

“Beautiful day today, isn’t it?” Rudyard should have known he’d run into Chapman today, the weather was always unusually balmy when he was in the park.

“Yes,” Rudyard bit out before turning haughtily away and back to the job he had previously been neglecting. “Please keep moving forward, filling all of the dead space.”

“How are you doing Antigone?”

“What’s it to you?” Despite her rude tone, Antigone was blushing a deep shade of scarlet that made Rudyard roll his eyes. 

“We’re colleagues, Antigone! And beyond that friends!” Antigone huffed in response, saying another death pun to get people moving instead.

Rudyard would never admit it but they probably were. Chapman said hi to the Funns every chance he got and engaged them in the longest conversations Rudyard ever had with anyone but Georgie and Madeleine. They (unwillingly on the Funns’ part) often spent their off days in the parks together and Chapman even brought them groceries one time when they both caught the flu while Georgie was out of town and Madeleine was working.

“And who’s this, Eric?” A woman dressed in some ugly designer brand and wearing too much makeup wrapped her arm around Chapman’s shoulders from behind.

“Err, Vivienne Templar, this is Rudyard and Antigone Funn.”

Templar narrowed her eyes at Rudyard, her blood red fingers digging into Chapman’s shoulder as if to say  _ he’s mine _ .  _ That is highly inappropriate, _ Rudyard thought, _ besides, why is she looking at _ me _? _

“So lovely to meet you, Eric has been taking me around the Park today!” She laughed even though she’d said nothing funny and Rudyard instantly disliked her even more than Chapman.

“I’m, uh, her guide that is. ‘Cause, you know, that’s my job.” Eric’s eyes flashed briefly to Rudyard before flicking away again.

“Please move into the next room,” Antigone hissed.

“Yes, right away,” Chapman responded before hurrying Miss Templar along with him and into the waiting room that marked the beginning of the ride, throwing a quick, “Enjoy yourselves!” Over his shoulder.

“I couldn’t stand her,” Antigone seethed.

Rudyard huffed in agreement but couldn’t help but agree. Something about that woman had been extremely insufferable.

  
  
  


“And I’ve gotten all of the best anecdotes for my memoir!” Madeleine smiled happily, her fingers already flying over her well used laptop.

Rudyard grinned back at her (a sight others would call terrifying), his feet curled up in her lap. Madeleine was one of the Minnie Mouse actresses at the Magic Kingdom and she often did the shows in addition to the usual character meet-and-greets. Currently, she was writing  _ Life in Dots: A Memoir of a Disney Minnie Mouse _ and came home every night (or morning) from work with an excitement to continue her book that Rudyard could never replicate.

Madeleine was also one of the Funns’ roommates. The other being Georgie Crusoe, a maintenance worker in the park. Right now, Georgie was on a date with her girlfriend, Jennifer, who ran the Magic Kingdom section of the Disney Parks Blog. 

“You’ll never guess who I saw today, Madeleine.” Rudyard drawled, sipping a little at the steaming tea he was hunched over. Antigone and Rudyard used to only drink boiled water, then Madeleine moved in and bought them actual tea. Rudyard could never thank her enough for that.

“Chapman?” Madeleine asked without breaking her furious typing.

“How did you—! Yes, Chapman.” Rudyard took another drag of his tea, “And he had to deal with the most obnoxious lady, a  _ Miss Templar _ .” Rudyard shuddered and Madeleine laughed.

“What was it about her that was so horrible?”

“Well…” And Rudyard didn’t know how to answer that, really. He knew why his sister had reviled her, with the way Miss Templar had clung to Chapman it would take a fool not to, but he wasn’t sure why  _ he _ hated the woman. It must have been the sheer audacity of her riches. Yes, that was it. Nothing to do with Chapman like a small corner of his brain had suspected.

“Anyone rich enough to afford a guide should be promptly buried, Madeleine. We’ve gone over this, how did you forget?”

“Mhmm.”

“You stopped listening.”

“Mhmm.”

Rudyard sighed and shifted in his spot on the couch, curling his feet more comfortably in Madeleine’s lap and un-hunching his back as far as it ever did. It was near midnight, and Rudyard had woken early that morning to do the finances (he was rubbish at economics, but all of the other queers in his household were just as bad with numbers).

Rudyard drifted off and dreamed of Miss Templar’s sharp nails leaving red crescent marks in Chapman’s forearms, a slick red-lipsticked smile leering over Eric’s shoulder. When he awoke a few hours later, Madeleine still typing beside him, a chill greater than a hundred ghostly fingers brushing his skin ran down his spine. Even at work the next day, Rudyard couldn’t be sure why.

  
  
  


It was pouring, as it so often did around Rudyard, and the majority of guests seemed very unhappy about this. Rudyard wanted to tell them to be thankful the Mansion line was sheltered and could they kindly  _ stop _ complaining please, but Rudyard also wanted to keep his job so he said none of that. If they’d been able to keep the funeral home, Rudyard would have been his own boss, thank you very much, and could’ve said any of the rude things he wanted to. At his shoulder Antigone griped that his attitude was exactly why they couldn’t have run the funeral home in the first place. He ignored her.

The rain let up immediately, to the happy murmurs of the park guests, and Ruyard fought back an eye roll, muttering under his breath, “Here we go.”

“Hiya, Rudyard, Antigone.”

“Eric,” they both ground out.

Rudyard met Eric’s eyes briefly before turning away and back to his job. His Chapman meter for the week had been filled the previous day when he had shown up to their apartment uninvited (Madeleine had invited him) and cooked dinner for them (Madeleine had helped. Really, looking back on it, Rudyard was pretty sure that Madeleine considered Chapman to be a  _ friend _ .  _ Disgusting _ ). After dinner Rudyard had been trying to watch the Cinderella remake, he liked the mice, and Chapman had sat next to him on the couch and tried to  _ conversate _ with him for  _ two hours _ . Rudyard wouldn’t admit to it, but he’d actually enjoyed watching the movie next to Chapman, if only Eric knew how to shut up.

“Blimey, the weather’s been excellent.”

“Go. Away. Eric.” Antigone hissed. The back of her dress, Rudyard knew, was likely soaked from where she had to stand.

“Err, I’ve been waiting for forty minutes.”

Rudyard broke his No Chapman Contact rule and glanced at him to note that, oh, he wasn’t in his uniform. Instead he wore a sinfully tight, pink polo shirt and khaki shorts that hugged his muscled thighs. How that man found time to exercise Rudyard didn’t know.

“Enjoying yourself?” Rudyard asked, drily, his cheeks flushing pink at the realization that Eric had probably seen him checking him out.

“Yes, actually, thank you for asking. Are you guys getting off work soon? I was wondering if you would want to hang out.”

“No, I’m afraid we have  _ hours _ left,” said Antigone, her hair hanging in oily tendrils over her eyes. Rudyard thought she looked like the girl from The Shining like that (Georgie had shown them that movie last Halloween, Rudyard had to sleep in Madeleine’s room for a week afterward). They didn’t have “hours” left, actually, they were getting off in another fifty minutes.

“Ah, well, next time then.”

“Yes.”

“Please, move forward, your time has come.” Rudyard said to the assembled mass and to Eric.

“Well, see you,” Chapman said, almost pained.

“Good bye, Chapman.”

And if Rudyard watched his retreating form walk away and into the Stretching Room, well, no one had to know.

  
  
  


That was not true. Madeleine, quite obviously,  _ had _ to know.

“What is happening to me, Madeleine?”

“Sounds like you have a crush.”

It was a week later, a week of restless slumber and clamming up when he caught sight of a blonde haired man, and they were on their way to meet the object of Rudyard’s plight.

The thing was, Rudyard didn’t do “crushes.” Never had, and wasn’t inclined to start anytime soon. There had been brief infatuations in high school, ones he’d kept tight lipped about around his parents, but never anyone he had actually wanted a romantic relationship with. And it wasn’t like Rudyard found Chapman attractive in the sense that tv seemed to be obsessed with. Sure, he was charming to an outside eye, but obnoxious at the same time, and he didn’t seem to understand personal space and boundaries.

“I do not. I must be sick.” Rudyard was glad that Antigone and Georgie had stayed home to construct that new bookcase, he wouldn’t hear the end of it if either of them ever found out about this.

Eric had apparently invited Madeleine to have coffee at a new book cafe that had opened up down the street from them and, not wanting to get dragged into the endless labyrinth that is an IKEA instruction manual, Rudyard had decided to join her. It sounded like the cafe was nice and Madeleine had promised to pay for him, the only drawback was that  _ Chapman _ would be there.

“You aren’t sick, Rudyard. Honestly, I can’t believe it’s taken you this long to figure it out. I’ve known for ages.”

Rudyard spluttered angrily, with lots of “Now hold on—!”s and “Well I never—!”s.

Madeleine just laughed at him. Rudyard loved her laugh, “Oh calm down, you don’t have to do anything about it just yet. Sit on it,  _ think _ about it.”

“I wasn’t planning on doing anything!” Rudyard exclaimed, quickly following that up with, “It’snotacrushanywayIdon’tevenknowwhyI’mexplainingmyselftoyou.”

“Well, we’re almost here so shoosh on your crush talk or you’ll be stuck explaining yourself to him prematurely.”

Rudyard was just about to retort when Madeleine pushed open the door to the cafe, a little bell ringing and causing the blonde haired, blue-eyed  _ prick _ in question to turn his head toward them.

“Madeleine! And, Rudyard! I’m so glad you could come.” He made it sound like it was his cafe, or a business meeting, Rudyard tried to scoff. 

“Thanks for getting Rudyard out of the apartment, Eric, I mentioned you would be here and he perked right up.” 

Rudyard shot a betrayed glare at Madeleine (that Eric surely saw) and cleared his throat, “Well. I’ll just be getting a coffee.”

Rudyard was standing in the line at the counter, tapping his foot impatiently, when Madeleine sidled up next to him. “I thought you said no,” and then much, much quieter, “ _ crush _ thing.”

“What crush thing, I thought there wasn’t a crush thing?” Madeleine batted her eyes at him and he fought hard not to roll his.

Rudyard shoved her lightly and huffed, his stomach a mess of nerves just thinking about having to go and sit with Eric through a coffee date.  _ Not a date, _ Rudyard reminded himself and then, more begrudgingly,  _ but it was  _ definitely _ a crush thing. _

Eric had pulled his seat out for him when he got back over to the table with his coffee, he’d pulled out both his and Madeleine’s, actually, because Eric was nothing if not chivalrous. Rudyard smiled tightly at him, taking a seat in the too-low chair, his knees crackling painfully as they bent.

“What’ve you been up to, Rudyard?” Eric asked, his hand clenching on his coffee mug’s handle.

“Not much.” Rudyard didn’t say how he was almost done the scaled model of the Haunted Mansion he’d been building for the last two years, all he had left to do was paint the little Antigone and Georgie he had carved over the past month.

“Ah,” Chapman said, “work still going well?”

“As well as it ever is.”

“I see.”

Rudyard cursed his inability to  _ talk _ to people and stared into his cup, hoping that Madeleine would come back from ordering soon.

“I actually wanted to ask you something.” Rudyard still didn’t look up but his brow quirked at the nerves clearly evident in Eric’s voice. “Well, you see, I was wondering, would you, if you’d like to… that is—”

“What.” It was harsher than Rudyard had been going for but old habits die hard.

“Would you want to go on a date with me next Friday? To the park?”

“ _ What. _ ” This one was  _ much _ harsher and much more aggressive, Chapman must be pranking him. A cruel, cruel prank.

“Err, I’m asking you out? No pressure, of course.”

_ Think about it! _ Rudyard couldn’t  _ think  _ about it! Rudyard couldn’t think, period. “Why do you want to go out with  _ me _ ?”

Chapman was staring at him, Rudyard could feel it. He couldn’t bring himself to look up. “...Because I like you, Rudyard. I think you’re funny and I like how you won’t put up with any of my shit.”

“But, but, you can’t be  _ gay _ .”

“Yes, I very well can be. And I’m not gay, I’m bisexual. But that’s beside the point, if you find this so, so  _ absurd _ I’ll just take your answer as no and we can leave it at that.”

“ _ No! _ ” Rudyard’s eyes betrayed him and he met Eric’s gaze in a flash.

They were blue and grey, the color of the ocean back home. He’d noticed them many times before, crinkling up as Eric laughed, screwed up to fight back tears the one time last year when Eric had cried on Rudyard’s shoulder, but this time was different. This time they took Rudyard’s breath away.

“No, I— oh, I’m too emotionally constipated for this,” Rudyard groaned, still not breaking eye contact.

“It’s okay, Rudyard.” Eric said, reaching a hand to rest calmingly on Rudyard’s forearm. “Really, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“It’s just, I only realized I might want to go on a date with you,” saying ‘like’ or ‘crush’ felt too juvenile, and Rudyard had no experience with this sort of thing, “this morning!”

“Ah.”

“I need some time to think,” Rudyard sighed, forcing himself to look away from Eric and throwing his head back in agony.

“Right, well, let me know? When you’ve decided?”

“Will do.” Rudyard said as Madeleine  _ finally _ came back from the counter. He fully intended to avoid Eric for the next week. Better to be safe than happy, his dad always said.

  
  
  
  


“You are going to call him, Rudyard.” 

Georgie had cornered him in the kitchen five days later as Rudyard was getting his morning sausages. Rudyard had stupidly told Madeleine about his Eric Issue, who, normally a  _ very good friend and secret keeper _ , turned around and told Georgie.

“I thought you hated him.” Rudyard was stuck against the cupboards, Georgie having positioned herself in between him and the exit. He was one hundred percent certain that she would carry him bodily to Eric’s apartment if he refused to call.

“I do. But you don’t.”

Georgie Crusoe was the most intimidating woman Rudyard knew. Even though she was much, much shorter than him, she towered over everyone in sight and her glare could knock any man dead. Antigone was closer with Georgie than Rudyard was, but that didn’t stop her from pushing him around every once in a while. Especially when he was doing something destructive.

“Rudyard you are going to call him right now.”

Rudyard cowered before her, trying to inch farther away from the phone he had stupidly left beside him on the counter. “I’m not and you can’t make me!”

Georgie strengthened her glare.

“ _ Ah! _ ” Rudyard yelped, screwing his eyes shut before blinking them open again. “Fine, fine, fine, I’ll call him.”

“Thank you.”

Rudyard tried not to flinch as she continued watching him and he picked up his cell phone and selected Eric’s contact. The phone rang once, twice, three times, before Chapman picked it up.

“Hullo?” His voice sounded thick with sleep and Rudyard felt his heartbeat quicken.

“Late night, Chapman?”

“Rudyard.”

“Yep, er, I was calling with my… answer. See, look here…”

“Quit prattling,” Georgie said.

Rudyard  _ eep _ ed and kept talking, “I would like to go out with you. On Friday. Tomorrow.”

“Eric, who’s that?”

Rudyard’s blood ran cold. That voice, dripping with sleep and malice, red with blood, like the color of her nails and her lipstick. The color of Rudyard’s heart as she pierced it with her words.

“Vivienne!” Chapman exclaimed.

“Vivienne.” Rudyard’s voice was cool even as the blood raged through his ears.

“Rudyard, wait, I can—”

“Come back to bed, Eric.” Her laugh echoed from where she was no doubt lying in his bed, she hadn’t said anything funny.

“Goodbye, Chapman.” Rudyard hung up.

“That bastard,” Georgie hissed.

Rudyard just turned away from her, quietly preparing his sausages. Georgie tried to talk to him but he ignored her, hiding away in his room. Rudyard hadn’t ever cried over a boy before and he wasn’t about to start now. 

  
  
  


That night Rudyard dreamt of Chapman and Vivienne, err, engaging in a certain bedroom activity in the hot air balloon from Pinnochio. The sounds were downright pornographic, Rudyard stuck watching and listening in the air above them, feeling like he was going to vomit the entire time. Vivienne held Rudyard’s gaze, her red lips turned up in a viper’s smile. Ruyard didn’t see Chapman’s face once the entire dream.

He woke in a cold sweat, still feeling like he might throw up but not letting himself. He got dressed slowly, numbly. He could get over Chapman, he knew he could, but right now… right now it just hurt. And there was no reason for it, for how much this had hurt him, but pain so rarely needs a reason to haunt.

Madeleine, Georgie, and Antigone were waiting for him at the kitchen table. His breakfast of oatmeal and sausages sitting before them.

“I can’t believe he did that, Rudyard,” Madeleine said, her eyebrows squished up in sympathy.

“Yes, well, he did. It’s fine.” Rudyard shoved a few spoonfuls of oatmeal into his mouth, fighting back the ill feeling that was still overwhelming him.

“It isn’t fine!” Antigone hissed, her eyes flashing like a cat’s, “That was a horrible thing for him to do.”

“You’re only saying that because he isn’t sleeping with you,” Rudyard said. He maybe couldn’t have Chapman but he could always infuriate Antigone.

His sister blushed scarlet, her hackles rising, “What, no, shut up, because I can’t ever be decent. And I don’t want to—”

“Antigone. Rudyard. Stop.” Georgie’s tone was warning and they both fell silent. “I’ll kill him if you want me to.”

Part of Rudyard wanted to scream yes, but for once he listened to his rational side, “No, Georgie, don’t. I’m fine. It’s his choice who he sleeps with anyway. I probably deserved this, actually, for all those times I stole his mail and threw water balloons at him and… ” Rudyard trailed off. Not like he wanted to sleep with him anyway, not like Rudyard wanted to sleep with  _ anyone _ , but that was also a deflection. 

“Not when he’s being shitty to you, it’s not.”

Just as she finished speaking and Rudyard was about to flee their righteous caring, the door buzzer sounded. 

“Are you expecting Jennifer?” Antigone asked Georgie, who’s hands had gone for the knife resting on Rudyard’s plate in reaction.

“No.” Georgie looked between Rudyard and the other two women seated beside her, “Madeleine, Antigone you get the door. I’ll stay here with Rudyard.”

Rudyard hoped that it was a delivery person, that Jennifer had decided to pop by and surprise her girlfriend, that it was anyone except for the man whose calls Rudyard had ignored all day yesterday. The man that Georgie was preparing for.

“Eric,” Rudyard heard Antigone spit from the entranceway, his heart began to pound again.

“You can’t come in here,” Madeleine said and Rudyard saw Georgie take the knife fully off of his plate.

“Please, I just want to see Rudyard.” He sounded sad. Eric Chapman so rarely sounded sad.

“You don’t get to see him.” Madeleine again, Rudyard was pretty sure Antigone was just hissing.

“Please, I— I fucked up. I want to fix it.”

Rudyard wasn’t fully in control of his body when he pushed up from the table, Georgie tightening her hold on the knife. “Rudyard, what are you doing?”

He didn’t say anything, just walked to the narrow entranceway. Antigone and Madeleine stood blocking the door, giving Rudyard the barest glimpse of Chapman behind them. It looked to be pouring out and he was soaked, his golden hair limp. Rudyard approached the door, Georgie now standing at his back.

“I’ll handle this,” he said, his voice quiet.

Madeleine and Antigone whipped around, looking to Georgie who Rudyard assumed probably nodded behind him. They backed away from the door and the three of them re-entered the kitchen, Madeleine squeezing Rudyard’s shoulder as she passed.

Rudyard took a deep breath and approached the door. Chapman’s normally permanent smile was turned down, wobbling, his whole frame shaking in the rain. Rudyard let out a breath of air.

“What was that?” He asked, not fully sure what he meant but knowing it had to be said.

“I don’t know, Rudyard, I was… I don’t know. I hadn’t heard back from you and Vivienne was right there and she wanted me and… it didn’t mean anything to me. Her, the whole thing, she didn’t mean anything to me.”

“That makes it worse, Chapman.” Rudyard said, “Why would you do that?” His voice breaks at the end, “Do I mean nothing to you, too? Are you asking me out because you think I want you like that? To have something, someone that you can throw away?” Rudyard was numb and buzzing all at the same time, his stomach and heart a mess as his tongue shot out cold and calm words.

“No, no, Rudyard. You mean so much to me it scares me. And when you didn’t call, when you stopped answering my texts, I…”

Rudyard looked him over, calculating. “You know I don’t sleep with people.”

“Yes, but—”

“And you know that this was one of the worst things you could have done to me.” Because even if Rudyard had done his fair share of horrible things to Chapman in the months they'd known each other, he’d never done something that would hurt this much. Chapman had tossed him aside for something that he wouldn’t, couldn’t give him.

“Yes, and I feel terrible about it, I couldn’t sleep at all last night. I was thinking about all of the ways I could fix this. Please, please, give me another chance.”

And call Rudyard a masochist, but with that he decided. Maybe it was because Chapman had given him so many second chances, thirds, fourths, maybe it was because Rudyard knew that this wasn’t all Eric was, but nevertheless, “You can’t come in… But I’ll see you tonight. When are you picking me up?”

The rain began to let up just slightly, “Really?”

“If your offer still stands, yes, Chapman, really.”

A smile began to tug at the corner of Chapman’s mouth, “Alright, then. One o’clock? We’ll make a day of it?”

“It’s 11:30 now, Chapman.”

“Yes, well, just enough time for me to change my clothes and get back here, isn’t it?”

Rudyard’s heart was a steady gallop, he almost felt a smile pulling at his lips, “See you then, Eric.”

“Thank you, Rudyard.”

Rudyard let the small smile win as he shut the door, breathing out a happy sigh. Through the kitchen window, pure, unfiltered sunlight streamed in.

  
  
  


Eric pulled up in his beat-up but charming Subaru ten minutes early, Rudyard was already waiting on the front step. After dealing with an interrogation from the girls and then a breakdown which only Madeleine, thankfully, was present for, he’d decided that his normal parks-faring outfit was perfectly acceptable for a date: a tacky shirt that Georgie had gotten him last Christmas of the Magic Kingdom castle covered in Haunted Mansion wallpaper and black jeans that had seen better days. 

Chapman stepped out of his car, a hand raking through his hair and eyes gleaming in the midday sun. “Hullo.” His voice was full of emotion, something that Rudyard now realized was a normal occasion when it came to talking to him. Chapman wore one of his short-sleeved button up shirts, this one with little Mickeys on it, tucked into tight fitting jeans. Rudyard blinked.

“Chapman.” Rudyard lingered on his doorstep, his hands hanging uselessly at his sides.

“You ready to go?”

“Er, yes, right away.” Rudyard felt like he was having an out of body experience as he walked to Eric’s car and got into the passenger side.

They drove in silence for five minutes, Chapman opening his mouth to say something before shutting it again. Rudyard cringed internally.

“Now look here, Chapman… I’ve never, well, done this before, so—”

“Rudyard, you’re being wonderful. I’m the one that cocked it all up and made this awkward.”

Rudyard tentatively reached out and placed his hand on Chapman’s thigh, comfortingly, “Don’t worry about that right now, I’m giving you a second chance, remember? And Georgie said she would castrate you if I don’t have a good time.”

Chapman laughed nervously, “I can work under pressure.”

“Then… show me what a date’s like, Chapman.”

“With pleasure.”

They arrived at the Transportation Center without a hitch. Rudyard was glad that he didn’t recognize anyone in the line for the Monorail because he was having trouble keeping a handle on his (not malicious for once) giggles as Eric turned on his Chapman Charm. Just two weeks ago, Rudyard would have been rolling his eyes at this, scoffing, but now that it was directed full force at him and only him he felt his heart melting a little.

On the monorail was little different, they held onto the same germ-covered pole, Rudyard standing so close to Chapman that he could feel his body heat at his back. He kept having to bite a smile back, it must have been the nerves because he hadn’t felt this decidedly  _ not grumpy _ in a while.

“Favorite ride in Magic Kingdom?” Chapman asked as they walked through the vomitorium (Madeleine loved that it was called that) and onto Main Street.

“I know it’s my ride but The Haunted Mansion. You?” Rudyard shrugged sheepishly, Eric had insisted on carrying the backpack which Rudyard was secretly grateful for, Georgie was usually the one who carried his stuff.

“Don’t laugh,” Eric leveled a finger at him, “I’m serious about this.”

“I won’t.”

“Small World.”

Rudyard choked, “ _ Why? _ ”

“It’s so cheerful!”

“It’s  _ disgusting _ .”

“I love how your nose scrunches up when you smile,” Chapman said, reaching out and lacing his fingers with Rudyard’s.

Rudyard blushed, turning away from Chapman before mumbling, “Yes, well… favorite show?”

“The fireworks, they make me cry every time.”

“I can’t believe I agreed to go out with you.”

“I can’t either,” Chapman squeezed Rudyard’s hand in his. He waited a pause before saying, “Okay, so, we have to make it to the Haunted Mansion and Small World. And if you’re up for it we can stay for the fireworks?”

“Right, sure,” Rudyard said, his cheeks flushing. He couldn’t believe that he was on a date with  _ Eric Chapman _ .

“Excellent.” Chapman was smiling, Rudyard was nearly knocked over with the force of it.

Rudyard tried to savor it all; the smell of sugar and money being spent wafting from the shops on Main Street, almost twisting his ankle in one of the trolley rails and Eric catching him in response, Eric stopping them to take a picture in front of the castle. It was wonderful, it made Rudyard feel like his heart was going to explode, he honestly kind of hated how used to that he was getting.

They were almost at Small World when Eric stopped short in front of the Philharmagic gift shop. “You don’t have any ears.”

Rudyard tugged fruitlessly on their joined hands, “And I don’t need any, I’ve already had this argument with Madeleine.”

“I’m buying you ears.”

“Chapman, no,” but Eric was already dragging them into the shop.

“Hat or headband?”

Rudyard had always liked the headbands better, but they were made for women. “Eric…”

“Hat or headband?”

“Fine, headband.” Eric grinned at him before pulling him to the wall full of ear-headbands.

Most of them were garishly pink, a few had veils, others were for special occasions. Rudyard felt his eye drawn to one pair in particular, black and glittery ears with a rainbow bow in the center. He shouldn’t, what would his family think, what would his coworkers think? But only Antigone was here, and Madeleine and Georgie already knew he was on a date with Chapman right now. As for coworkers, well, Rudyard had to imagine that it was a very small percentage of them who were straight men.

Rudyard picked them up, “Let me buy them, Chapman, you don’t have to.”

“Please, Rudyard, I insist.”

Rudyard held his ground for a measly second before breaking, “Okay, fine.”

He felt so unbearably silly leaving the shop with animal ears on his head (Madeleine dressed up as an animal for a living, he, however, was not Madeleine). Chapman just went back to holding his hand loosely, jabbering about whatever nonsense seized him.

After only a twenty minute wait, they rode Small World, Rudyard unable to hide his smile at the sheer joy in Chapman’s eyes the entire time. They went on Haunted Mansion next, Rudyard cackling with delight throughout most of it. He didn’t miss how Chapman was looking at him, a soft smile and crinkling in the corners of his eyes.

It was only 5:00 by the time they got done, Eric made Rudyard wait in line to see Rapunzel and Tiana next, the pictures of which Rudyard tried in vain to stay out of. If Antigone ever got her hands on those she would tease him mercilessly. They ate ice cream for dinner and got cotton candy for dessert, Chapman wiping some of the mint chip off of him after Rudyard had gotten it on his nose. Agatha Doyle was working in the confectionery when they went in and did her best to be civil with Rudyard; she still blamed him for that man who had a heart attack in the Haunted Mansion line. She liked Eric though, so she didn’t glare too suspiciously.

Around 7:00 they made camp at the edge of the gardens in front of the castle, eating their cotton candy and talking. Rudyard was still in a bit of shock, not having totally escaped the feeling that this was an illusion, he was starting to feel a bit faint. A week ago he’d realized that he liked Chapman after months of hatred and denial, now he was watching him lick cotton candy off of his fingers while still trying to talk about some medical tv show he liked. It was exhilarating. 

Fifty minutes later their once tranquil spot was crammed with people, Eric had pulled Rudyard up and into his side, an arm looped around his waist. There was a palpable tension in the air, from the adults around them on dates like their’s and family vacations and the little kids with glow sticks and fairy wings. Eric complained cheekily to Rudyard about not being able to see, Rudyard being nearly four inches taller than him, and Rudyard responded by threatening to pick him up.

A “don’t make promises you can’t follow through,” from Chapman led to five minutes of Rudyard trying in vain to lift Eric (no muscle, there was no muscle on a single inch of his body). The group of vacationers next to them shot fed up looks their way, but they were laughing and this was the closest Rudyard had ever been to anybody except for Madeleine.

Then the lights dimmed and a hush fell over the crowd as the speaker system came to life. Chapman began to grin broadly next to him and there were cheers of excitement from the crowd. Then, in a single breath, the heavens were painted in a beautiful mess of music and projections and fireworks; colors painting the sky, the castle, the world in their light. Chapman did cry, as he had promised, when dozens upon dozens of Tangled lanterns filled the castle. Rudyard promised himself he wouldn’t tease him about it, he only squeezed Chapman’s hand tightly in his. 

As the climax built, Rudyard found himself turning away from the castle, from the fireworks, to watch Chapman. He was beautiful, more beautiful than Rudyard had ever seen him. His face was alight with reds and greens and blues, his eyes sparkling and hair reflecting the projections. Rudyard felt his heart in his throat.

Chapman turned from the castle and locked eyes with Rudyard,who was now finding it very hard to breathe. Eric let go of his hand, and slid his arm around Rudyard’s waist, the other hand going up to cup Rudyard’s cheek, the nape of his neck. The world was Chapman and music and lights and Chapman, the clapping of the crowd and the beating of his heart.

Eric leaned up, his breath hot against Rudyard’s gasping lips. And then they were kissing and Rudyard’s eyes slid shut. His hands went for Chapman, hanging onto his shirt with both hands and ducking down to meet Chapman halfway. A big boom and flash went off to his side, the crowd cheering and music swelling, and Chapman still kissed Rudyard. It would have been awkward, probably, if Eric wasn’t such a good kisser and Rudyard wasn’t too overwhelmed to do anything but hold onto him. But it wasn’t awkward, it was good and perfect and beautiful. Just like Eric.

_ “Find your happily ever after…” _ the music cried, and Rudyard sighed into the kiss. This wasn’t all he needed, this new and wonderful thing that he and Chapman shared, and wasn’t all he wanted, either; but knowing that Eric was there to make him smile, to make his heart feel like it was going to explode out of his chest, to hold him and kiss him like this… Rudyard was pretty sure that was as good a start to a happily ever after as he could ever imagine.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! fun fact: the ears that rudyard buys are the ones that i got last time i went!! i hope you enjoyed this, don't be shy to leave a comment if you did, i love to get them.
> 
> i'm on tumblr at [labelleofbelfastcity](labelleofbelfastcity.tumblr.com) come say hi!!


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